Fake GM

So, this is a new thing, ongoing.  I’m a fan of the Eastside Hockey Manager series.  It was (and presumably still is) a freeware series that was briefly published with an NHL license by Sports Interactive.  However, the lockout killed the game.  As a result, EHM 2007 was the last “professional” game, though there are still freeware versions and even a dedicated fanbase that issues massive roster updates each season for EHM 2007.

If you’re like me, though, and you’ve “invested” (read: squandered) many actual days and not a few virtual years building a great franchise, starting over each year with the actual rosters is rough.  There’s the advantage of more accurate player ratings and real player names, and the disadvantage of having all your progress go away.

Well, I’m not one to let a good waste go to waste.  I’ve decided to write up the adventures of Mike Beginner (who is a totally made-up person who represents me in the game) as a fake NHL general manager.  And, because my blog, that’s why, you get to follow along if you like.

Here are the grounds rules:

  1. Everything in each story is “true.”  This means that anything in a boxscore, on the game-generated news wire, or on a team’s or player’s information pages is accurately described.  If I say that Player X scored a hat trick, or that Player Y demands a trade, or that a team’s coach is on the hot seat, it’s because that’s what occured.  The game generates a fair amount of such information each “day” of game play, and the GM gets notices from his coaches, players, and the media on a regular basis – who’s doing poorly in practice or who’s a current media darling, rumored trades, etc.
  2. The quotes and narrative are completely my own devising.  I can tell from the boxscore that a guy comes down the wing, has a shot kicked to the corner, and then takes a slashing penalty trying to win it back.  That’s all in the shot charts and play-by-play.  The game will even tell me about some egregious non-calls and in-game injuries and such.  But any quotes from practices, after games, reports of front-office conversations and such, are invented.
  3. As a result – please don’t get mad!  There are a good many people in hockey today whom the game still has around in June of 2021, which is when my little stories begin. Some of them “work” for the fake me.  Some of them become personalities in their own right, that may not jibe with their actual character in the living world.   They will say things in these stories that of course aren’t real.  I’d like to apologize in advance to anyone who has an objection, especially on the extremely-distant chance that you are the actual party in question.  I do try to be nice.
  4. I’m not cheating.  I don’t hammer the reset button if I lose.  In fact, one of the big storylines going into this offseason is one I would have loved a do-over on.  Too bad.  This all unfolds in the stories as it unfolds on the screen.  I don’t take multiple runs until I get a favorable outcome.
  5. I don’t know the future.  This is the most important rule.  I won’t skip ahead and then weave the narrative to fit the results.  When you see the dateline on the entry, that is the latest date in the game that I’ve simulated.  If there’s a gap, it means that there wasn’t anything happening (this will happen a lot during the summer, when the team is just getting ready for camp and there aren’t any more games, trades, signings, or the like).  If there’s more than one dated entry, it means that I simulated, wrote a report, simulated, etc.  (Expect this during the season, for long stretches of games where I just want to file a quick recap and abbreviated box score.)

Comments on each of those posts will be open for feedback, questions, etc.  Be creative!  If you have something to ask the “reporter” or the GM or whatever, I’ll do my best to get an answer for you.


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