Via Twitter, the Masters sent word to the Minions of a new Obama campaign ad. It’s…. well, it’s really creepy. Even here in the Supersonic Rocket Ship, we’re unsettled – and remember, we let unbalanced people use toxic substances to test practical jokes on each other.
There are so many objections to this, it’s hard to know exactly where to begin. I will start with what a lot of others are noticing: it’s a conceit used first by Vladimir Putin, the “freely elected” “President” of Russia. It’s not the only resemblance that Obama hopes for, no doubt – he’s done end-arounds of Congress and statutory requirements via executive order and agency regulation, part and parcel of the idea that he should just be in charge all the time.
From there, the observations come very easily. It’s very conceited to think that someone who wants you to be president just “wants you,” full stop. Likening that vote to giving up one’s v-card? “Off” barely begins to cover the distastefulness of this concept. The “Hey Girl” Paul Ryan meme that ran the rounds a couple of months ago was a mockery of the idea of the hunky guy sending ladies’ hearts a-flutter; if you recall, it was pictures of Ryan at his dreamiest captioned with “flirting” such as “Let me show you my budget projections” or “You want to get some tort reform some time?” IOW, politics and infatuation don’t mix.
I don’t think I’m stretching to suggest that Obama likely thinks of himself as for-reals irresistible ladykiller. He thinks of himself as a for-reals Zen Hoops Batman Prophet Jedi King, so why not Casanova too? So, Hey girl, vote for me, because it will thrill your finer features – we’re all about your lady bits in the Democratic Party. Ugh.
It’s rather a pity that a lovely and talented young lady like Lena Durham wouldn’t run from this advert like she would from a stalker in a windowless van. What was she thinking? It’s not insulting to women to be told that it’s not enough to support President Tiger Beat with her vote, but that she has to swoon over him and flatter his virility as well? Who the hell does this doofus think he is?
Next step: the inevitable backlash over the squickiness, followed by the equally-inevitable calling of “Dog Whistle!” when people point out how awful this is. You’re just afraid of da black man sexin’ up white women, raaaaaacist!!!one! Sure, sure… keep politically-advertising that chicken.
The final observation is one that the Obama campaign probably doesn’t want to think about, but it’s actually the first thing I think of. To wit: America already gave up their v-card to this cad in 2008, and wound up just like so many other poor girls who listened to rutting fools and gave it up, only to wake up in the morning to an empty bed and a guy who was just too busy to call all of a sudden. Now he’s crawling back to us: Oh baby, I was crazy to give you up, I’ve learned, I’ve changed, let me make it up to you.
Well, he only wants one thing out of us, and I pray America has learned some self-respect and kicks this bum to the curb. He’s mooched off the rest of us for long enough.