Things to do in New Jersey when you’re recuperating

  • Sit around with your leg propped up on a pillow, surfing the Internet.
  • Watch movies on blu-ray.
  • Try to keep the dog from jumping up and settling down on your surgically-repaired knee.
  • Look at your knee – shaved from mid-calf to one-third the way up the thigh – and think that it belongs to someone else.
  • Stump around on crutches, modeling a t-shirt that says “I do all my own stunts.”
  • Make sure that you pick the longest movies you can because you can’t get up and change the disc that often.
  • Try to keep the dog from eating your socks, because she knows you can’t chase her.
  • Hum the theme from “Chariots of Fire” as you go to the bathroom and back – only you’re moving at full speed, not slo-mo.
  • Drop your phone in a bowl of soup.  Clean escarole out of your phone.  Suck broth out of earphone jack like a straw.
  • Go to rehab.  Congrats, you can bend your leg 95 degrees!
  • Well-wishes from everyone you know, telling you to take it slow and that you’ll get through it.

2 thoughts on “Things to do in New Jersey when you’re recuperating

  1. Robbo December 2, 2011 at 9:39 pm

    Yikes! Don’t know the back story on this, but best wishes for a speedy recovery.

    Best long film that comes to mind is “Bridge Over The River Kwai.” Lawrence of Arabia” isn’t bad. “The Fall of the Roman Empire” is good if you’re looking to doze off. Can’t recommend “Dr. Zhivago” because after the umpteenth reiteration of ‘Lara’s Theme’ you’ll be strongly tempted to plunge a screwdriver into your eardrums, which probably wouldn’t make matters better for you.

  2. Brain Deflation Treatment | Professor Mondo December 3, 2011 at 5:49 pm

    […] of this opportunity to do something I can do any time, and send best wishes to the Nightfly, who is recovering from knee surgery. Hope you’re up and running soon, bud. I’ll also point you toward Ranting Ricki, who […]

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