(12-02-10… updated below the jump)
Poor Pat Boone… he seems waaayyyy too invested in his meat product.
The first thing I thought of when I saw that, though, was the following:
Man… that Mama Lucia is SCARY. I think she’s been
possessed brainwashed by her own meatballs. Eat one and you become part of the Hive Mind, smiling dimly and vacantly like “Mama Lucia,” who has actually been dead for thirty-five years (poor soul).
“America’s Favorite”???? I refuse to believe such lies. Don’t eat the meat.
updated: So I’m out with the family last night, and I see a framed print of a famous poster on the wall.
Maccheroni! Wholesome, robust Italian food! Grab a fork – hell, grab a pitchfork and dig in! Bales of pasta! Pour a little vino and… hey… wait a minute.
Look at this poor guy’s face! He suddenly understands exactly how much spaghetti is wrapped around that canoe oar of his… how inadequate his mouth is to the sheer volume of pasta goodness. But the true horror is that he realizes that HE CANNOT STOP HIMSELF – his mouth is open, and he must eat – he will suffocate on that boulder of food, because he no longer controls his own will, his own body.
Someone has obviously mixed some of Mama Lucia’s product into the pasta, and she is collecting her dreadful due. Save yourselves…
(PS – I changed a word above because it fits better. It’s the crossed-out one. For some reason it seemed more honest to show the correction than simply make it. I also apologize for the low-quality of the picture. My cel phone was made before they invented megapixels.)